A Travel Essay from the Inner Journey

I have been in a deep pause for the last few weeks, sinking deeper into Purpose Gene Key of 48.3, but also of simply being with all four of the Gene Keys of my Activation Sequence, as I sit in this gap … the Activation Sequence in the Sage’s Golden Path Retreat is complete (can it ever actually be complete?!), and I am patiently waiting for the Venus Stream to open.

At the end of the Activation Retreat, I heard this beautiful invitation into contemplating this journey I have been on since the beginning of this year …

Four Mighty Trees

These four pillars of mine are like mighty trees, guardians of my inner wilderness. They stand tall, strong, majestic. They support so much life in their branches and with their fruit. They are fecund and abundant. So much life is here in these living pillars of who I am in this lifetime.

But their real strength, their real power, is hidden from view. It is in their roots that go deep into the earth.

My pillars are a reflection of me. All the real treasure is inside, deep in my roots, buried right under my feet.

This journey of the Activation Sequence is indeed a quest, but it all takes place right here, in my interiority. There is no need to go seeking for answers in the external world, for the truth is right here, in my rich interior.

There are priceless jewels here.

There is love.

There is trust.

There is safety.

And oh, there is so much joy.

My Life’s Work of Dynamism (GK39.1)

My Dynamism is all of these jewels and more. It is a fire that burns inside me; it is the torch that lights the way, as I follow my root system deep underground.

It is my wild enthusiasm for this work.

It is me, in my raw state.

It is my voice, it is my song, it is my liberation.

This first pillar of interiority is my devotion and commitment to this work. If I were never to venture further than this Life’s Work Gene Key of 39 (the Shadow of Provocation, the Gift of Dynamism, the Siddhi of Liberation), then I would have a lifetime of buried treasure to uncover and that would be enough.

My life would be worthwhile.

My life would be full and rich and nourishing to my soul.

My Evolution of Perseverance (GK38.1)

But I do not stop there on this quest. I move on. I step onto the next part of this inner path and embrace my own Sage gift of sincerity. Sincerity is the Line 1 Sage Word for Gene Key 38, which moves from the Shadow of Struggle, to the Gift of Perseverance, to the Siddhi of Honour.

For not only am I committed to this work, I am a warrior of the inner work.

The deeper I go, the deeper I want to go.

I am not just committed, I am dedicated, I am devoted. Like a knight of old, my inner warrior must be true of heart. Every word I speak, think or write must be in complete alignment and harmony with every feeling.

I have to feel the words’ resonance throughout my whole being. A clear note.

Every word must be felt in my body like a sigh.

Words must flow through me and from me like crystal clear water.

Sincerity. I must mean every single word. I must pare away the insincere, the empty, the meaningless. I must peel away every mask and false belief I’ve hidden behind. I must uncover the truth of who I am.

Speak only truth.

Speak honestly.

Sincerity cannot lie. Lying is against the very nature of the sincere one.

I am a warrior who prepares every day for death … the death of ego, the death of self-judgement.

I am the honourable warrior who never gives up, because there is always more truth to be found.

I am the warrior of light who fights for love.

My Radiance of Authority (GK21.3)

There is another warrior in this tale. She is the Author of my Radiance pillar. I adore this Gene Key that I have here! Gene Key 21 moves from the Shadow of Control, to the Gift of Authority, to the Siddhi of Valour … true, valorous Warrior energy lives here.

This Warrior’s pen is mightier than any sword.

She writes her own story.

She draws the map into the interior world.

She is not afraid to write a new story.

She is not afraid to change directions.

She follows her heart.

She makes her path by walking.

Here is where the element of water enters the quest. My Radiant Warrior is a river goddess, she flows, she follows her heart deep into the earth, only to emerge as a spring, bubbling with laughter and joy. She is brave. She flows where she needs to flow.

My mind is like water …. Thought to thought.

This Radiance warrior found the chalice deep in my interior. The chalice that is never empty was what I found in the cave during the Pathway of Breakthrough meditation, which lies between the Evolution and Radiance spheres, and this gift from my own deep psyche tells me there is always more. It overflows with love. It overflows with trust.

I needed this fathomless vessel of love to give me the sustenance I needed to embark on the exploration of the fourth pillar …

My Purpose of Resourcefulness (GK48.3)

Ah, and next I moved into my favourite Gene Key, 48, the Shadow of Inadequacy, the Gift of Resourcefulness, and that glorious Siddhi of Wisdom. The Sage word GK48.3 is affinity, and I fell in love with this word in the same way that interiority, my Life’s Work Sage word, swept me off my feet!

Affinity … my inner self, my truest warrior, my anchor and my lifebelt.

And here, in this fourth pillar, I find the deepest root of all. I find the taproot that all the other roots branch out from.

Here is my wisdom.

Here is my infinite trust.

Here is the magical backpack that holds all the other pillars. (The image of my “magical backpack” was one that first came to me when I travelled my Golden Path with Hayley Curtis in her wonderful group container, Devoted. As we were working with this Gene Key 48, with its Resourcefulness and its well of Wisdom, I suddenly had this image of Hermione Grainger’s magical bag in the Harry Potter stories … the bottomless bag, that holds everything one needs. Only mine is a battered old rucksack, which is much more my style than the fancy little clutch bag that Hermione sports!).

This magical backpack of mine is a wormhole into everything and nothing.

It is the void and it is every atom in the universe.

Affinity is my name.

I am the leader and the follower.

I am the path and the journeyer.

I am the map and the landscape.

I am the connection to all of my Gifts.

I am the seed and the fruit.

I am the heart and the home.

I was born to do this work.

I was born to forge these paths.

I was born to write this story.

I am fire and I am water.

I am breath and I am the earth.

I am the hero of my own quest.

I am my own true north.

The photographs I used for this essay are all of trees. If you’ve been following my posts at all, then you already know how much I love photographing trees. Wiltshire is full of these intriguing littles clumps of trees, and of course, there are lots of beautiful lone trees to photograph. And then of course there were the trees in the woods of the Elan Valley in Wales, where I came upon the tiny waterfall! It was like a fairy glade.

You can see more of my photographs on my Flickr page.