A Travel Essay from the Inner Journey

We are moving into our Purpose sphere as part of the Sage’s Golden Path Retreat, and I am already in love with my Sage word and Line for Gene Key 48.3, which I have in this pivotal place in my chart.

We often ask ourselves, “What is my purpose?”. What I am asking myself is, “How does this new Sage word and Line fit with how I see my Purpose in the world“?

Of course, even though I know what “affinity” means, and even though it immediately struck a chord for me, it simply wouldn’t be right not to check out the word in my Roget’s Thesaurus, because that’s just the way us word lovers roll!!

It sets the scene; it’s like drawing the backdrop for the play I am about to write in the pages of my journal.

Thesaurus 
Affinity … relation, relatedness, connectedness, rapport, relationship, kinship, consanguinity, intimacy, milieu, kindred, affiliation, family, clanship, kinswoman, likeness, influence, gravitation, attraction, aptness, gift, talent, instinct, aptitude, magnetism, desire, empathy, liking, match, union, marriage

Affinity! Oh. My. God!!!! I love this word as much as I loved “interiority”, my Life’s Work Sage Word, from the beginning of my Activation Sequence. Affinity is all about relationship and connection. And hasn’t that connectedness been the sweetest fruit of doing this Gene Keys work? The relationships I have grown, and the connections with my fractal that I have made, have been intense and so fulfilling.

I was just talking to Meghan, my best and dearest friend (and fellow Crone in this Cauldron!), about this the day before the word dropped into my consciousness. I was telling her that I have never had a friendship like ours, one that goes so deep, one where we talk every day, and every conversation is an exploration of our inner worlds. And that wasn’t the only conversation I had that day about these glorious post-Gene-Keys-discovery relationships. I had the same conversation with my friend and glorious guide, Hayley, too! Since she came into my life, a whole treasure trove of wonder has opened up in me.

I Have an Affinity with my Milieu

Oh, how perfect “affinity” is. And how beautifully I have flowed into it from my work in the Radiance.

Affinity means related by marriage and I feel as if the relationships I have with Meghan and Hayley are like marriages. The coming together of souls. That’s what affinity is. It is joining with my fractal. It is the perfect word for the fractal bonds I’ve made with Meghan and Hayley, and with all of the other women who are now in my life.

I have an affinity with these women. I have a kinship. They are my kinswomen, my family, my tribe, my clan. We are connected by gossamer bonds that weave through the ether. We have gravitated together to form these bonds that stretch around the world. 

Ah, and I’ve just decided that “affinity” is the collective noun for soul friends! We are an affinity of soul friends; we are connected in ways that weren’t open to me before I did this work and I allowed it to open my heart. We are connected in ways that are akin to the gravitational pull of planets. We were meant to come together, magnetised by Hayley and the Gene Keys.

We are sisters by affinity, if not by consanguinity.

I have, of course, the greatest affinity with my husband. He may not like the term soulmate (it makes him cringe, truth to tell!), but that is what he is to me, (whether he likes it or not 😘😂). The affinity between us is so much greater than just the marriage. This is affinity of thought, of humour, of compassion, of understanding. There is so much that binds us. Our marriage, our relationship, is the embodiment of affinity. We are a perfect union. Our affinity survived 25 years of separation. That is a bond. That is connection. That is rapport. We are simpatico, and I don’t care if he doesn’t believe in soulmates, because I do, and he is mine!

I have an affinity for this work.

I have a gift and a talent for this inner work. The marriage of interiority and affinity means that I am made for this work. This is my calling. This is my métier.

I am drawn to this work because it is my destiny to do it. I have an instinct for diving deep into my own interiority, for knowing which paths to follow and which threads to unravel. I know that this is what I’m meant to do with my life. And now, with these Sage words, it is as if Richard Rudd, the sage himself, has given me a great big permission slip that says … Go! Go into the depths of yourself, it’s what you were born to do.

And my affinity for this interior work is not just what I’m good at, it’s what I want to be good at. Wrapped up in my affinity for the work is a desire to do it. A desire to never stop. To go deeper and deeper … and deeper still. To delve into the deepest recesses of my being and find the treasure there.

Affinity is Me!

How perfect, how apt, this word affinity is for me. It wraps around my mind like silk. It feels so completely perfect, that it has brought tears to my eyes. The relief, the deep sense of rightness, has loosened something inside me. Affinity has opened my heart even wider.

Affinity is me.

In fact, I claim this name! I now name this part of me who ventures into my interiority “Affinity”! She is a warrior, a monk, a truth-teller. Affinity is the name of the best part of me. She is my warrior self; she is the queen of my inner realms. She is fire and she is water. She rides on the backs of whales as they dive to the deepest parts of the ocean. She flies on the wings of owls who quarter the world in silent, all-seeing sagacity.

She is my true inner self.

Oh, the homecoming that is wrapped up in that name Affinity.

I’ve never tried to name the parts of myself before, it would have felt contrived. But this, this feels right, because the word Affinity is so right. Richard Rudd and his unerring ability to choose the most perfect words for me, it’s a marvel, it’s not explainable with logic. It simply is the truth.

Affinity Holds Worlds Within It

Affinity holds worlds within it. It is not just a word; it is a whole life. It is the inner world I have discovered through being brave enough to dive into my own darkness. Affinity is the treasure that lies hidden in the very heart of my being. Affinity is the pearls I bring back to the surface of my life. Affinity is the song I sing to soothe myself. It is the battle cry when I need courage.

Affinity is my true north. Affinity is love and connection. Affinity is empathy and understanding. Affinity is kindness and compassion.

Affinity is me.

Affinity is all the things I want to be. It is me in my natural state, feeling an affinity to the people I love, to the work I love, to nature, to my path in life, to the Gene Keys.

Affinity is the energy I want in my life. I want to draw to me the people and things and experiences that fit me. Affinity is me being in my fractal; it’s me being connected to the right people at the right time. It’s me being home.

Affinity is me having my roots deep in the earth, while my heart and my mind soar through the blue.

Affinity is infinite. She has lived a thousand lives; she may live a thousand more.

And every one of them will be perfect.

And so, to the Sage Line …

Becoming an anchor of stability in troubled times

And again, the Thesaurus beckons …

Anchor: rooted, planted, tied, bound, bond, coupled, fix, stabilise, foothold, home, dwell, quiescence, quietude, refuge, tranquil, still, safety, security, protection, safekeeping, sanctuary, asylum, retreat, safe place, sanctum sanctorum, temple, bastion, safeguard, hope, certainty, relief

Stability: equilibrium, permanence, power, balance, steadiness, even keel, lasting, perseverance, foundation, bedrock, enduring, constancy, staying power

To become an anchor of stability in troubled times is definitely the flavour of my whole Activation Sequence. My Dynamism and Perseverance keep me solid and safe. They root me in the earth; they make me strong and stable. My Authority and Resourcefulness mean that I will always find the right safe harbour in which to drop my anchor.

An anchor brings that stability in even the most troubled waters. It binds me to my roots and keeps me safe. My anchor, dropped into the deep, safe harbour of my own being, allows me to bring stillness and tranquillity.

This has not always been the case. There were long years of being tossed relentlessly on troubled waters; sometimes at the hands of another; sometimes I was the one creating the turmoil and turbulence in my own life. There was no safe place, no sanctum sanctorium, no holy of holies, no place for me to rest. There was no certainty and there was no relief from the relentless battering of the waves.

I Am My Own Safe Place

That has changed. I am my own safe place, I am my own sanctuary, and my own still waters. I am also the anchor. I am the safety. I am the home I have been seeking my whole life.

No one else is going to be my anchor, although there are those who share my anchorage with me … my husband, Meghan, Hayley … but I am the anchor for my own life. I am the safe space. They may share that safe space with me, but they don’t give my safety to me.

Being the Anchor for Others Too

I think there is so much more to this …. Becoming an anchor of stability in troubled times … this is not just about me anchoring myself and finding my own safety in these scary, troubled times I am living through. I think this is about me being the anchor for other people too. I think this is part of my service to the whole. To be a safe harbour, to be solid and grounded and sure-footed. To be someone other people can look to for stability.

Of course, I always come back to the question of “How?!”. How do I become an anchor of stability for other people? How do I step fully into my service to the world?

Well, I think it starts with this work I am doing on myself, the work I dive into every day when I open my journal and open my heart and allow my true words and story to fall onto the page. And then it carries on as I share my words. An anchor is more than stability and safety; it is a place of retreat and relief, it can be a beacon of hope, a lighthouse and a lifebuoy, a safety belt.

Oh my! How I love all the watery, maritime allusions in this Sage line! It’s so perfect for me and my Gene Key 48!

So Much Pain in the World

This line, and the word, have got me thinking about asylum seekers, the immigrants and refugees, risking their lives in tiny boats to make it to the safe harbour of my home country. It’s making me think of things that are happening in the world that are causing me pain these days.

This pain I feel is not only about the wars and genocides that are happening, but also about the way those people who flee war and oppression are treated once they reach what they thought was going to be their safe harbour. This issue has been causing me pain, and I keep wanting to do something about it. I keep wanting to find a way to help people. I feel as if I have to do more than just donate money and clothes. I feel as if I have to give something of myself. But how?

First and foremost, I must keep generating love through doing the inner work. I must keep opening my heart wider and wider. I must keep sharing the power of this inner work. Doing this work creates a reservoir of compassion and kindness inside me. If I can encourage more people to do this work, then that will add to the global pool of compassion and kindness. You cannot face your own Shadows and you own darkness without it changing you. And one of the changes is that you want to take the love you find inside yourself and share it with other people, and that has got to be good for the whole. Spreading love is a noble goal.

And of course, I need to first be anchored in my own stability, before I can become an anchor for others. I have to sink deep into myself and create the stillness and safety I need, which can then widen to include others.

How Do I Drop My Anchor?

And how do I do that?

How do I drop my anchor into the depths to create the stillness and the safety?

By doing this work. By never straying from this work. By pausing. By being kind and gentle with myself. By never being afraid of the troubled times, but rather by trusting them, trusting the Dharma and Karma that brought them my way.

I could rail against the unfairness of the world, or I could use the troubled times as a gateway into more self-love.

What better thing to do when times are hard, than to love myself even more? More love brings more stability. More stability spreads the capacity for love wider.

When I am pouring love into myself, when my anchor is holding me steady, there is no space for fear or victimhood to grow.

If I can show others that love becomes the anchor that can keep us stable in troubled times, then the stability spreads. Love becomes not just the anchor, but the chain that holds you to it.

Love becomes the stillness and the stability you seek.

Then any troubled times may be borne.

Love is always the answer.

If I anchor to my love, then I have nothing to fear.

If I anchor to my love, then I am always safe.

All of the photographs in this essay were taken on the beach at Saunton Sands in Devon. As well as the obligatory beach views, there are shots of shells and driftwood and bubbles … just because I love textures and patterns.

You can see more of my images on my Flickr page.