A Travel Essay from the Inner Journey

I have spent the last week basking in the wonders of my IQ Siddhi. I have Gene Key 12 in my IQ, the Siddhi of Purity. This is an elusive Gene Key, which I feel as if I am finally getting to grips with. But it is a bit of a will-o-the-wisp, and no sooner do I think I “get it”, than it slides like water from my grasp.

But I am going to tell you what this journey has been like for me and maybe give you a flavour of this very special Siddhi. This is my third time around the Golden Path, and I feel as if lots of things have fallen into place for me. I just hope that I can do it justice.

But first, a little about the IQ Siddhi. Richard Rudd, the founder of the Gene Keys and the sage who created this whole teaching, says in this IQ sphere that “The higher mind can transcend the limitations of thinking and access the quantum field of universal wisdom.”

For me, this is about intuition and trust in my body. In order to tap into Universal Wisdom, I have to drop the barriers that my logical mind puts up. I have to drop into trusting my own innate wisdom, which is connected to all wisdom. I have to get my logical mind to just be still and allow the answers to come up from deep inside me. I know, from all the work I have done with Gene Key 48, with its Siddhi of Wisdom, that I do indeed hold all the wisdom I need in my own internal well.

And that well of wisdom is infinite, because it taps into the wisdom of all life, of Gaia herself.

And once again, it comes down to trust. I have to place my trust in my intuition and in my body, that they will know the right next step. I have to trust the direction of my own feet. I have to trust the direction my own heart tugs me in.

I believe my higher mind resides in my whole body … in my solar plexus, which tugs me towards intuitive answers; in my belly that knows when those answers are inherently safe; in my feet that connect to the earth and know which way to go; in my hands that hold my handmade life. Trust is a whole-body experience, and trust opens the channel to my higher mind.

An Interconnected Matrix of Consciousness

In the Sage’s Golden Path retreat, Richard talks about an “interconnected matrix of consciousness that can unlock all barriers that prevent the experience of love from flowing through the body.”

To my logical mind, this sounds pretty woo woo! (I can hear my husband laughing at my new age, hippie ways!!). But, to my heart-mind, it makes complete sense. We are all connected. Every atom of energy connects to every other atom. We all breathe the same air. We all walk on the same earth. We all see the same sun and moon. We are all connected. I know this. I feel this.

We can all tap into the same universal wisdom, if we are open to receiving it.

We are all connected, whether we are conscious of it or not.

And, just to get non-woo for a moment … even if we are not connected, then, really? It doesn’t hurt to believe that we are! It’s a good thing, for it makes us more compassionate. It’s a good thing to believe, because it makes us less selfish and more altruistic … why wouldn’t you be kind to everyone, if they are part of the same matrix of beings?! To be kind and compassionate to another is to be kind and compassionate to yourself. To love yourself is to love everyone.

Does it not make the world a better place? Do we not all yearn for oneness and universal love?!

To believe that we are all connected is to allow love to flow through you and out into the world. It is to open yourself up to the flow of love from others It is to allow love to permeate all that you are and all that you do.

Love then becomes your currency in the world. Love becomes your language. Love becomes as important as the air you breathe.

Love becomes your measure of prosperity and success. Love becomes your safe harbour, your anchor, your home.

You live love. You speak love. You are love and love is you.

Dissolving into the Guiding Essence of this Siddhi of Purity

Oh, how freeing it would be to dissolve into the essence of Purity. My mind has been so tightly constricted for so long. I spent so much of my life locked inside these walls that say I have to figure everything out in order to be free. My mind said that I could never be free until I had solved every single one of my problems. And since life always throws new challenges at me, how could I ever be fully “fixed”? Therefore, I needed to maintain the strictures. I needed to maintain the glass walls that not only kept the challenges out, but they also kept me in.

That is how I felt for so long.

Of course, I know that some structure is necessary … the banks that hold the river, the jug that holds the water, the body that holds the being.

But there is a world of difference in that one letter of stricture versus structure.

Stricture builds the glass walls around my mind so high I can never be free of my own thoughts.

But imagine how freeing it would be to dissolve those strictures and let my mind melt into my heart. Imagine releasing my mind from the bonds that say I have to have everything figured out, that until I have every answer to every question, and I can’t relax and rest until I have all those answers down pat.

That is a lot of pressure to put on my mind.

Our human minds were never meant to be constricted in this way. We have allowed manufactured fears to freeze us into stone. Our minds are not meant to be rigid; they’re meant to flow and morph and be creative.

Imagine melting the walls I’ve built around my mind and allowing it to meet universal consciousness. That is a heady thought. There would be so much freedom, so much looseness.

Sinuous, that’s the word that came to mind. My mind would become so sinuous she could weave her way through forests of challenge; she could slide between the rocks strewn in my path. She could wrap herself around universal wisdom.

A mind like water, that’s what I would have.

There is that image again … water, the river held by gentle banks, flowing through life.

I have been carrying it in my consciousness since my Radiance sphere, and here it is again, to guide me, to free me.

My Siddhi of Purity

In the Gene Keys teachings, Purity is defined as “the true nature of humanity, unblemished by the duality of the mind”.

That is a heady concept, is it not? One could imbibe that one concept and stay drunk on it for the rest of one’s life.

Purity is the true nature of humanity. How incredible it would be, if everyone knew that to be true. We are all, as babies, born pure, uncorrupted by the trials of life; we are pure life, pure light, pure beings, unblemished by beliefs or thoughts, unshackled from all of life’s challenges. We don’t know we are separate. We still feel connected to the mother.

Pure.

There is no thinking to get in the way of simply being.

It is only when the mind gets involved, when it brings duality into our lives … good and bad, right and wrong … that we lose our hold on the unblemished purity. It is only when the mind brings in its strictures, that the purity of our being gets caught … we get caught on the labels, for ourselves and others, we get caught on beliefs that are based on pain, we get caught on barbs that were never meant to slow us down, we get caught in cycles of pain and abuse and suffering. And we don’t know how to break free.

We experience the pain of separation, the pain of duality, when we realised we are a separate entity, and our caregiver can walk away and never come back. As I wrote that line in my journal, I had the visceral memory of my mother walking away from me, as I screamed and raged at the school door on my first day there. I can still see the colour and texture of her fake-leather coat (blue, crinkled), I can still see her head, wrapped in a fake-silk headscarf, rigidly facing forward, never turning back to look at me, never saying, it’s okay, I’ll be back.

We experience pain, physical and emotional, and everything splits into two camps … what hurts and what doesn’t hurt. And then we spend a lifetime trying to push all the hurt to the other side … trying to fix it without fully understanding where it came from.

Awakening the Inner Beloved

Purity is the awakening of the Inner Beloved. This divine marriage of inner masculine and feminine energy is the expression of true love

The Sage’s Golden Path Retreat

I just read a book about Rumi and Sufism, and that term “Beloved” was used to express pure love; it was used to express the godhead; it was used to express the love between soulmates (not necessarily physical lovers, but true communing souls); so it was so amazing to me to read these words in the Sage’s Golden Path Retreat.

What I love about the Gene Keys is that it is not a doctrine that asks you to worship a god or goddess, nor follow a guru or leader. It invites you, in the softest, most gentle way, to find the god or goddess within.

We are invited to fall in love with our Inner Beloved. We are the Beloved, we are the divine in mortal clothing.

I am not, nor have I ever been, a religious person. I was raised an atheist in an atheist household. The idea of worshipping a deity is alien to me.

And yet, I am enraptured by this idea of the Inner Beloved … I adore this idea that we are all divine. We are all incredible beings living on an incredible planet, and we are all connected by the most intricate and magical web of consciousness. I feel this in my bones. It’s not a “belief” or a “faith”, it is a visceral knowing … a knowing that I am here for a reason, that I have a higher purpose, that I carry inside me my own Inner Beloved, and she is worthy of love. She is perfect, just the way she is.

The Divine Marriage of Inner Masculine and Feminine Energy

The Gene Keys teachings tells us that Purity is the divine marriage of inner masculine and feminine energies, and I feel I get glimpses of this Siddhi every now and then, and it is the most noble goal to hold a vision for … that I might truly marry the masculine energy of my Brilliant Mind, that Intellect and Precision that burn in me (my Line 2 energy tells me that I do indeed possess this Brilliant Mind!), with the deep yielding feminine energy of my heart, that is the Gene Key 48 Well of Wisdom within me.

I love how I can see my whole Gene Keys chart coalesce into this brilliant whole, with my Purpose and my IQ coming together here, strengthened by all my other Gene Keys. Each of my keys brings divine energy into this marriage inside me. Each of my keys creates the fertile soil for this Inner Beloved to grow.

This is heady stuff! I know that I have a long way to go before I am truly embodying this Inner Beloved. I don’t know if this will happen in this life time. I live with the eternal paradox of knowing that I exist inside the great unknown of life. And that’s okay. What is important here is that I do know I am on the right path. This Earth School I am attending is full of wonders. I need only raise my eyes from the page as I write in my journal each morning, and look out at the trees, the sky, the birds, the flowers in my small patch of the planet, to see that I am living in a wondrous place.

I need only look within to see the marriage of my inner masculine and feminine and catch a glimpse of my Inner Beloved, to know that I am exactly who I am meant to be.

And it doesn’t matter if I do not live in the pure Siddhic energy yet. That is not what is important. What is important is that I am conscious of it. My Inner Beloved is awake in me, she is my compass, she is my heart, she is my mind, she is all of me. She is all of my Shadows, Gifts and Siddhis. She is infinite. She is connected to all living things, she is connected to the earth. My Inner Beloved is where fire meets water, where breath meets earth. My Inner Beloved is true love. Pure love. Unconditional love.

I can forgive myself when I slip and fall, caught by a Shadow. I can take responsibility for when I have charged ahead in anger without pausing to reflect. I can forgive myself for that too. My Inner Beloved is benevolent, and eternally compassionate. She understands everything. This is not to excuse myself when I am in the wrong; this is to understand that I am on a journey here, and that sometimes I will go awry. But my Inner Beloved will gently guide me back to the right course. I need never be afraid, for I always have love by my side.

Life as Reflections of the Higher Heart

In the Sage’s Golden Path Retreat, it says of this Siddhi of Purity that it “sees all of life as reflections of the Higher Heart, experiencing the wondrous innocence of the child and the compassionate wisdom of the sage, expressed through the poetry of presence and the language of love.”

How glorious it would be to live from this Siddhi! How glorious it would be to look upon every other being and see through all of their layers and projections, into their truest heart. How glorious it would be to experience a level of purity where you saw all life through the eyes of the innocent child, absorbing life for the first time, while also seeing with the Sage’s eyes every nuance, every shade, every bright shining light. This would be to truly live this work. Being in the Siddhi of Purity would be to have a heart so wide open it encompassed all.

Being in this Siddhi would be to truly love everyone, to love all life, unconditionally. It would be to hold no shred of blame or shame over anything you’ve done because you would know that every step, every word, indeed, every breath, led you to this precise moment of utter perfection.

To live from this Siddhi would be to speak only the language of love. Not one other word would ever be required, for love is all there is. You would speak every word for love. You would recite the 64 Gene Keys words for love as your morning prayer. You would lose yourself in the language of love until there were no other words. Then you would shape these words into the poetry of presence that Richard talks about. Your words of love would form swirling poetry that wrapped around every moment.

To live from this Siddhi would be to live from the ever-changing present moment, but to be so immersed in each individual present moment, and to be so flooded by its presence, that all other moments, past and future, fall away, and there is only the poetry of the eternal now.

You would be completely alive, vibrant, vital. You would be the very breath of life in every single moment.

And because you live from the eternal now, and speak only the language of love, then your life would become an epic poem of presence and transcendence.

Every cell and atom would be charged with love.

You would be pure love.

“In Language, Purity Becomes Poetry.
In thought, purity becomes essence.”

How incredible to have inside me a Siddhi which becomes poetry when I use language and my words from this pure energy. Is that not the dream of the writer, that their words shall sound like poetry to the reader? That their words will be mellifluous and sweet to read and hear and hold in your mouth, rolling them around your tongue like rare delicacies.

That’s the dream of this writer anyway!!

I want my words to drip honey into the hearts of my readers. I want my words to open hearts and breathe the essence of my love and my meanings into them.

“Words used poetically and vibrated within the chambers of your heart have the power to pierce through the layers of fear that envelop the hearts of others.”

The Gene Keys

That is what I dream of. That is what I want to do with my words. I want them to pierce through other people’s pain and fear. Words are my medium, my métier, my calling. I have known this all my life. I have lived this since I first picked up a pen and started writing in 1998. I haven’t stopped. And now, now that I have found the Gene Keys, a teaching wrapped in words of power, I am home at last.

I am so grateful that I found this transmission, that I found this teaching that really speaks to me on a deep heart, soul, visceral level.

It feels so true and so right to me. And it’s all about words, it’s all about poetry. 

I could spend the rest of my life, just imbibing the 64 Siddhic words, and I would never run out of things to write.

I could spend the rest of my life just writing about my own Siddhis … Liberation, Honour, Valour, Wisdom, Impeccability, Purity, Illumination, Freedom, Romance, Humility, Universal Love, Awakening, Rebirth, Transparency … and I would never run out of words to write.

I could choose just one of my Siddhis and make a great opus around it.

I am so grateful for the Gene Keys. I am so grateful for all that has transpired in my life since I opened this treasure chest.

And if Purity makes my thoughts into essence, then that can change the whole timbre and vibration of my existence.

I then become the poetry I write.

I live the essence of love.

I radiate love because every one of my cells vibrates with it.

I become love.

I become life. I become existence. I become my own voice and my voice becomes life.

There is only light, pure white light.

Oh, I am not sure I am ever going to fully understand this Siddhi of Purity.

This Purity is inside me, as it is inside everyone. I don’t need to be afraid that I won’t achieve it. I need only fall into it and allow its white light to hold me.

So, what I must do is let go of the need to understand it and simply live it.

Just be a pure essence of light.

Just be love

Just be.

The photographs I’ve used in this essay are all black and white images, where the main feature of the image, like the rays or the swan or the flowers are white, for the white that is whiter than white of this Siddhi of Purity.

You can see more of my photographs on my Flickr page.