A Travel Essay from the Inner Journey

Precision is the ability to articulate life through the enriching language of inspiration, instead of defining life through dry and dull facts.

Sage’s Golden Path Retreat

Ah, how I love this description of Precision as the ability to “articulate life through the enriching language of inspiration”, because that is what I try to do in my writing. I don’t relay the information held in the Gene Keys teachings. I live it and then I share it. My love of this work and this language infuses my words and turns them into the pure gold of inspiration. This is what I’m here for. To live my Gene Keys, to live this transmission and then craft words and worlds that catch people in their golden net, so that they might be inspired to go fishing for wonder in their own internal rivers and seas. And even if I end up being the only person who is inspired by my own words, then that is enough!  I trust this work and I trust that I really am meant to do this work, even if I never know the impact of my words.

Precision, the Gift of Gene Key 62, is poetry, it is the condensing of a life of suffering into a story of triumph over adversity; the shaping of the raw materials of pain and struggle into jewels that glisten with possibility.

Precision doesn’t mean my words are mathematically correct. It means they are the straight arrow to the heart of the matter. I am an archer with a quiver of golden arrows, all designed to pierce the armour of fear and guilt, shame and separation. I am practiced in the art of finding the perfect words even when I don’t know the target.

I am honest and vulnerable, and I trust I will hit the mark.

Finding the Natural Balance of Head and Heart

I didn’t realise until I started working with my Gene Keys just how out of balance my head and my heart were. For most of my life, my head ran the show. Even through all those years of inner work, while I was diving into my own psyche, I was doing it all from an analytical standpoint … find out why this went wrong, and I can fix the underlying problem … find out why that relationship broke down and I can fix myself so that future relationships won’t break.

I didn’t know it, of course, but I was operating from the Shadow of Intellect for most of my life. And I thought (See! Mind/head again!) that it was a good thing. I was trying to analyse myself and my flaws and my failures, so that I could find the solution.

And my heart didn’t come into the equation at all. My heart was not part of the solution. My heart was the problem. My heart wanted love, my heart wanted to be cherished, to be romanced, so she just let all the bad shit happen. That is the way my mind worked! My heart was not to be trusted. She made poor decisions, trusting people who were patently deceitful, staying with people who abused my trust and myself.

There was no balance. There was all or nothing. There was judgement, and there was blame … how could I have been so stupid as to let that person into my life (judgement); it was all my fault for being so weak as to let this person stay in my life for so long, when all the evidence showed they were not right for me (blame). The only time my head paid any attention to my heart was to tell her she was wrong.

… Then the Arrow Hit!!

For me, my head is the masculine energy … it is my intellect, my control. It thinks it should be in charge. My heart is my feminine energy, and she was subservient to my head for decades. My heart received so much of that aforementioned judgement and blame that she stopped trusting herself. She threw up walls around herself. She withdrew.

The connection between my head and my heart, always tenuous, broke under the weight of suffering, pain and abuse.

My heart simply couldn’t take it anymore and withdrew to her hermit hut in the woods. My head thought I had everything figured out. Protect myself by cutting my self off from the world completely.

I had done years of inner work with my head in charge of proceedings. I’d done all the analysis, I’d looked at all the facts, I’d made the logical decisions … be alone; never let anyone into my heart space or my life; be an island; be self-sufficient; be enough for myself and never look for or expect anything more, certainly not love.

And then, just when I thought I had shored up all my defences, pulled up the drawbridge, and donned my armour, ready to stay safe from the bombardment of life, everything changed in a heartbeat! An arrow flew over the parapet and found its way into a chink in my armour right above my heart! My One True Love from a quarter century before was back in my life and suddenly I didn’t need the defences any more. I had loved him so much, and he had been the best of men, so I let him in. I told my stories … he told me his … a lot had happened in twenty-five years!

Slowly, my heart opened. Slowly, a balance began to happen. My head and my heart were operating in tandem. Within months we knew this was forever. A couple of years later we were married and that tentative balance was now a way of life. Our relationship is the perfect marriage of hearts and minds.

Enter the Gene Keys

And then a decade later, when I was truly ready, with twenty-five years’ worth of inner work under my belt and a heart softened and thrown wide open by love, I found the Gene Keys, and the true balance was achieved. I was no longer analysing myself with my mind; I was understanding myself with my heart. I was finding tenderness and gentleness for all the bruised and wounded parts of myself. I was finding compassion and forgiveness for myself. I was opening like a flower to reveal an infinite universe inside myself. I was finding connections with the world, with people who spoke my language, with nature, with pantheon of the Dream Arc.

But most importantly, I found the connection between my head and my heart; I found the natural balance that this Gift of Precision speaks of. My brilliant mind is still in play, that “brain the size of a planet” that my one true love never forgot in those twenty-five years apart. But now it is balanced with a heart so wide open it holds universes; a heart so full of love that it falls from my eyes as starlight.

And I found the key to this balance, the ingredient that makes it work … trust! Trust in all things. But mostly trust in my heart. She knows best! She goes first and my brilliant mind follows and flows and keeps everything in balance. Naturally. With ease.

I had written all of this, and then I read my dear friend Meghan’s words for Magpie in the Wild Dare Field Guide she is creating. Oh, but it was perfect for what I had been writing. I don’t need to polish my shame or blame any more. Love was the crack in my heart wall, a remembered love from long ago, and through the crack flowed new love, true love, and I was reborn as a lovechild of light. (Yes! I know it’s flowery and you may think it’s sentimental, but it’s how I feel, and I will not apologise for how I feel any more!).

I Want to ALWAYS Tell My Heartfelt Truth

Precision is all about evoking heartfelt truth, in myself and in others, and I am seeing myself in this Gift more and more often. I am pulling these words out of my heart and then I am seeing my words touch other people and move people in ways that I would never have believed possible. I am connecting with women from around the world who don’t know me, yet they are being touched by my words.

But I think the biggest change I am seeing within this Gift of Precision, the most transformational shift, is within myself. I am being moved by my own words. I am finding words and language that are communicating with my deepest self, and I am hearing that inner self speak back to me. No! I am not hearing voices!! I am hearing my own heart. It is not just that I am being even more honest with myself about my Shadows, about my wounding, about my dharma. I am also hearing words of love more clearly. I am speaking softer words to myself. I am more gentle with myself.

And I am allowing more open inquiry with myself. I’ve never been afraid to ask myself the difficult questions, but now I am asking questions which are opening up new, more spiritual places inside myself. The wisdom that is pouring out of Meghan in the Dare to Be Divine work, through her Dream Arc Vision Bird guidance, is the most beautiful siddhic wisdom, and that is opening me to even more layers of myself.

Poetry that is in Deep Resonance with the Beauty of Life

I am feeling the poetry in my own words. I love how my Sage word has opened up the poetry of myth to me. I love how what I write is wrapped in beautiful words. There is so much liberation for me in this Gene Key.

For so many years, I kept myself small, not revealing this poetic, intelligent, literate part of myself for fear of ridicule and abuse. For I was mocked for the way I spoke and the words I used, if I ever dared to try to use language that was considered “highbrow” or “intellectual”. I have had people in my life who have considered me as having “ideas above my station” because I used big words (their definition of my language!). I have had relationships where I’ve had to dumb myself down so as not to invite derision.

I don’t need to do that any more. I can speak and write the truth of what is in my heart, because my milieu understands me, and they talk the same lovely language.

There is so much freedom (my SQ Gift) in being able to tell the truth about how I feel; there is liberation (my Life’s Work Siddhi) in being allowed to be my natural, precise self.

And Precision opens up so many of my other Gifts.

Dynamism is easy when language trips off my tongue. Authority is a given when I speak my truth. Leadership flows from Precision, because my words can touch and influence others. And oh, my innate and infinite Imagination can run wild and free, with Precision running beside it.

Now that I am owning this Gift of Precision, I feel as if I have opened a door into a new world, where my words have weight and value. And I feel so at home here. This is my native land. This is where I belong. I can slip into my sealskin and swim free.

For this essay I have used photographs taken on a trip to Scotland a few years ago. This part of Scotland … Rannoch Moor, Glen Etive, Glen Orchy … is my favourite place in all the world, it’s the true home of my heart, so of course I had to use these photographs in an essay about coming home to my native land!

You can see more of my photographs on my Flickr page.