A Travel Essay from the Inner Journey

The next essay in my journey with my Purpose Gene Key, 48.3, in the Venus Sequence …

The Gift of your Purpose in relationships shifts your whole life onto another higher plane. When our relationships feel good, our whole life tends to move effortlessly.

Oh, I know this is true! Look how much my life changed when my relationship with my husband began. Everything shifted. Life suddenly went from black and white to rainbow-bright, glittering technicolour. Every part of my life became easier. And of course, the easier I felt, the better life became. Comparing my life now, to my life twenty years ago isn’t even apples and oranges, it’s apples and the whole damn world. Every aspect of my life has changed fundamentally. I love. I laugh. I create. I have true friends. I write. I have money. I have a glorious home. I have a whole glorious life.

I wouldn’t have gone straight to that word “effortless” but that is exactly how it feels.

Of course, I had to consult my Thesaurus … Effortless … easiness, ease, comfort, capability, capacity, possibility, smooth, liberated, simple, facile, accessible

Yes! Yes, to all of these. My life inside this marriage is easy. It is comfortable and comforting, it is simple. And although I feel as if our lives are intricately and eternally entwined, I feel freer, more liberated than I have in any relationship I have ever had.

Unlocking of the Gift of your Purpose Gene Key

When I unlocked this Gift, the word “Resourcefulness” went from being rather prosaic and dull, to being the most magical of all my Gifts. This Gift has a physical form in my imagination … the magical backpack that holds everything I ever need. Cloaking Resourcefulness in this imagery has made it so much more accessible to me. I literally have magic at my fingertips. I have a portal into my own Wisdom. I have the antidote to fear, because I know that whatever happens, I have a way to deal with it; no matter what obstacle blocks my way, I have the very tool to unblock that joy-pipe.

I am the spiritual plumber (thank you to my Guide, Hayley for that wonderful imagery!). Unlocking this Gift had a ripple effect through my whole chart. It touches all of my Keys. Here are my roots. All life flows from this well inside me. My magical backpack is full of tools and maps and sustenance for the journey ahead.

With Resourcefulness unlocked, I have nothing to fear from the path ahead.

“Resourcefulness is a trust in the inherent reciprocity of life, knowing that one will be provided exactly what one needs at the right time.”
The Sage’s Golden Path Retreat

I wonder how many times I have written those words in my journal over the last few years?! “Life always brings what I need, when I need it!”. Probably hundreds of times, because it is a belief I hold so dear. I couldn’t see it at the time, but even in those hard days of poverty, those years of lack of not only money, but also of love and support, I somehow always managed, mostly because of my own hard work. Because of my Perseverance and Resourcefulness, I kept the roof over our heads and food on the table. That’s part of my physical Resourcefulness story, but that is only a small part of this Gift and of life’s incredible reciprocity.

Life brought me my wonderful husband. And my Perseverance and Resourcefulness kept him in my life.

Life brought me the Gene Keys, and Hayley, and my very best friend in all the world, Meghan, my crone companion! Life brought me everything I needed, when I needed it.

I have now developed such a keen Gift for Resourcefulness, that I have no doubt that whatever life throws at me in terms of challenge or struggle, I will find a way through.

I need to remember that when those feelings of fear and anger and resentment over my ageing body come up! I need to remember that I am one Resourceful, magnificent woman, and I can overcome and cope with anything. Even this. I will find a way through. I will find a way to make life amazing, no matter how bad the pain, nor immobile the joints. I am Resourceful. I trust life.

Resourcefulness is the Courage to Dive into the Unknown

Diving into the unknown requires trust. It requires absolute trust that life is not bringing me situations to break me or test me or hurt me. Life happens. Bodies age. People die. Things change. But if I remain true to my belief that the universe is working for me, that there is nothing life can bring me that I cannot cope with, then I don’t need to be afraid.

Trust is the core of Resourcefulness. Trust in my karma and dharma. Trust in the flow of life to take me exactly where I am meant to go. Trust in myself that no matter the obstacles that come into my path, I will overcome them.

I am not just swimming with the flow of the river of life, I am the river. This is my journey. I get to chart the course. As long as I do not flow against my own nature, then I have nothing to fear. I can trust my Core Stability to keep me steady. I can trust my feet to find the right path. I can trust life to bring me all that I need.

Trust.

I can trust in myself and my own safety as I swim even into the deepest waters of the unknown. I don’t know what challenges lie ahead. I don’t know what is going to happen about our house we’re trying to sell, or our next house that we haven’t even found yet, or our future, or with my health.

I don’t know anything.

The future is a vast unknown. My inner world is an even vaster unknown. And that is okay. It is okay that I don’t know what is going to happen.

Because what I do know is that I am enough, I am Resourceful, and I will find my way.

Cultivating Deep Trust Dissolves Anxiety and Fear

Not only do I have a natural Gift of Resourcefulness running through my veins, I have grown this Gift, like a muscle, as I have sunk deeper and deeper into trust. I have started so many sentences with the words, “one of the greatest Gifts the Gene keys have given me is ____”, and filled the blank with self-love, with safety, with self-understanding, with the myriad treasures that this work has laid bare in me.

Love, of course, pulses through all of these Gene Keys treasures of mine.

But TRUST, oh, trust has been the thread that ties them all together.

And the more I trust, the more my Gifts arise, strengthen, become manifest in my life.

And nowhere is this trust more vital to a Gift than here in my Purpose Gift of Resourcefulness.

Resourcefulness is part of the frequency trinity that demands the most trust, for it is the well, it is the void, it is the black hole that threatens to swallow me.

Gene Key 48 invites you not just to step into the void and trust that you are safe there. It invites you time and time again to leap off the cliff, trusting that your wings will appear.

Trust and Resourcefulness are the twin muscles that root my wings to my body; they give me the strength and the confidence to fly. They free me to soar in my internal world, to let my imagination go wild and free.  Goodness me, Resourcefulness doesn’t sound nearly so prosaic and dull now, does it?!

The Eternal Reservoir

My inner well of Wisdom is indeed an eternal reservoir. I am reminded of the chalice that I found inside the cave in the Activation Sequence meditation. My well, my reservoir, my chalice, whatever imagery you want to use to describe this unending and eternal source and repository of my Resourcefulness (even the fathomless magic backpack!).

It all comes to the same thing … I have a deep trust and certainty that I will always find my way through whatever challenge comes my way, no matter how frightening.

I must embrace those fears; I must accept them as part of my path.

I must not be daunted by the pain.

I am the knight, fighting for good. I am the knight fighting for right.

I may be scared at times, but I am also brave; I am stout-hearted, doughty, and true.

I may not always see my own bravery, but it is always there.

I think the greatest gift my awareness has given me is that I am safe to be my authentic self. I don’t need to hide who I am any more. I used to think I was being judged all the time, by everyone. Of course, a lot of that belief came out of the fact that I actually was judged in a couple of very significant relationships, which set up a pattern of mental judgement that overlaid my whole life. I judged myself and always found myself wanting. And I assumed that I was being judged by others as well.

The trouble with judgement is that it is insidious. Once you are in a headspace where you are constantly judging yourself, you fall into that trap of believing others are also judging you. Judgement leads to resentment. Resentment leads to fear. All of this chemical overload in my mind led me to believe I wasn’t safe to be myself. The awareness that the Gene Keys have brought me is that I am always safe. That my essence is perfect just the way it is. That I am safe to be my authentic self, to be, to live into my true essence.

And the underlying truth of all this work … I am only a victim if I choose to be. There is always a choice. And choosing to take responsibility is what builds the Core Stability that allows us to grow into the person we were born to be.

Drama or Dharma?

I know that all the years of being in my own Shadow lands was what helped me to build my Core Stability. I may have wallowed in the victimhood, but eventually I did take responsibility and stepped into my power.

I stopped allowing the drama to overwhelm me.

Drama is always a choice, because it is a response. Life happens, our dharma unfolds, and we can either choose to stand in our own Core Stability, or we can choose to be washed away by the drama we create in our own heads.

And I know that often the people in our lives are the ones who create the drama, or who create the circumstances for us to respond from a place of drama (crazy makers, Julia Cameron calls them), but we do have a choice.

We can untangle ourselves from other people’s drama, we can take responsibility for our own, and we can stand in our own power.

This doesn’t mean that you have to end all the relationships that bring drama into your life. That may be the final outcome, but first you disentangle yourself from their drama, you set firm, clear boundaries, and then you decide whether you want to still be in relationship with this person. Sometimes the drama is the glue that is keeping the relationship together. And without it, you see that there was no real substance to the relationship, and you can release it, with love.

Sometimes, without the drama clouding your vision, you see that the relationship is all love, that it is part of the dharma of your life, and it becomes cleaner for both of you. Nobody actually likes drama (except those aforementioned crazy makers!).

If you take responsibility for your own dharma, and disentangle from the other’s drama, then the other person has the opportunity to see where they are falling victim to that drama. Then you have a real possibility of growth, of change, of authenticity.

This is how you lay the foundation that allows for a permanent opening of your heart.

To live with a permanently open heart is to live a clean life. By clean, I mean emotionally clean, where the hooks of drama have been removed from your flesh. We all have challenges we must face, that is how we grow. We all have Shadows. But every Shadow contains the Gift. Every Shadow and every Gift hold the possibility of the Siddhi. We have all this potential inside us. We cannot access it when drama is muddying the waters. We cannot access it if our hearts are closed.

And it can be painful to live with an open heart, because it means you have to let everything in.

But that is how we find the beauty!

We let it all in!

The photographs I used for this essay are of some of the wonderfully colourful wildflowers that I find in the fields and hedgerows around my Wiltshire home.

You can see more of my photographs on my Flickr page.