I have always wanted to write. When I was a child, books were like my best friends, and the library in my home town was my favourite building. It was a my own personal Aladin’s cave. From a very young age, I wanted to write. I didn’t know what, I just knew that there were so many words (and worlds) inside me, and I longed to write them down.

But I was never brave enough. I never thought that I would have anything to say that would be interesting enough for other people to want to read.

So, I kept all of my words locked inside me. I lived vicariously (and voraciously) through the words and books of others. I thought that to start writing, I needed to know the whole story, that I needed to have a beginning, middle and end, and have it all mapped out before I wrote the first word.

And then I discovered journaling, and everything changed!

How I Started Journaling

A long time ago, when I was in a pretty dark place, when I quite literally couldn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel … a toxic situation, an inferiority complex, self-esteem beaten out of me … one of the most confident and self-assured women I had ever met gave me a book called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. She put the book into my hands, and she said, “I think you need this!”.

And, oh my goodness, that small act of kindness set in motion a voyage of discovery, which is still going on now, nearly thirty years later.

The Artist’s Way Became MY Way

If you don’t know the Artist’s Way, it’s a creative recovery self-help book. There are lots of tasks and reading around becoming the creative person you want to be, that you’re meant to be …

Creativity is the natural order of life. Life is energy; pure creative energy. 🤯
Julia Cameron

And I felt as if it had been written just especially for me. Never was a gift more perfectly times.

It’s structured as a 12-week course, and I diligently read every word, did every task, opened my mind to every concept.

Morning Pages

The main tool in what Ms. Cameron calls her “spiritual path to higher creativity” is a thing called Morning Pages … three pages of stream of consciousness writing every morning … basically – keeping a journal.

You show up at that blank page every morning, and you write …. Three whole pages … stream of consciousness free writing … whatever comes into your head … I know! Sounds scary, right?!

Life Changing

It changed my life. I don’t mean “it made me feel a bit better”, or “it made me feel more positive” … I mean, IT TOTALLY CHANGED MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE!!!

Keeping a journal CAN do that.

I really do mean it when I say that it totally changed my life, this is not hyperbole!

By about week five, I had admitted to myself that I had ALWAYS wanted to be a writer. That was a big thing for me to admit … I’d kept that dream locked up in a box in my heart for thirty years.

By week seven, I’d written my first poem. It literally fell out of my head, onto the page. A poem!! I couldn’t believe it. I phoned American Liz (the woman who had given me the book), and said, “I think I’ve written a poem!”. She asked me to read it to her. “Yep, that’s a poem alright!”. Bloody hell. It blew my mind.

By week ten, I had enrolled in a local creative writing group! Me?! Sitting in a room with other people … writing … reading my words out loud to them.

And When I Say “Life Changing”, I mean WHOLE LIFE Changing

The poetry, the creative writing, owning the truth that I had always wanted to be a writer … that’s just how it changed my “creative” life!

Journaling also allowed me to delve deep into my own psyche, to begin to face my darkest thoughts, to accept my feelings and ultimately to accept myself. (But that’s a whole other story, for another day!!).

Writing allowed me to right my life!

And writing set me free.

Keeping a journal is so good for your mental well-being. It’s a place where you can safely explore feelings, where you can say anything, where you can work things out.

And it’s yours, it’s all yours. You don’t ever have to share the words with anyone else, if you don’t want to.

You get to write down and look at all those thoughts that are going round in your head and gain some perspective on them.

I know that, for me, if I put the words on the page, it’s like putting some of the burden down.

Moments of Epiphany

Sometimes, I find words flowing across the blank page that I don’t recognise as my own.

There are moments of epiphany, when I literally sit back and think, “Shit, I did NOT know that’s how I felt!”.

And when that happens, I feel lighter, I feel more at ease, because I’ve named it, that heavy darkness, that’s been weighing me down.

I’ve named it and released it for a while, and I can sigh, stand a little taller and take the next step.

The Journey Never Stopped

The Artist’s Way may have only been a 12-week course, but journaling, writing, has become a life-long practice for me.

It was writing that led me out of an unhappy life.

It was journaling that led me to Hayley Curtis’s membership, which was at that time called The Journey Home. (It’s now called Gene Keys Unleashed with Hayley Curtis).

It was writing that led me to the Gene Keys and the incredible transformation that work has wrought in my life.

In a glorious twist of fate, Meghan joined The Journey Home on the exact same day as me, so it was writing and journaling that led me here, to A Cauldron of Crones too!

So, you see, a tiny step, like accepting the gift of a book and daring to think that maybe, possibly, hopefully, I could actually do it, I could actually write every single day for 12 weeks, led me here, to this creative cauldron, to all this transformation that has occurred in my life over the last few years (decades!).

What tiny step could you take? What foray into creativity might crack you open just a little, to let the light shine in (and out!)?