A Travel Essay from the Inner Journey

Every Gene Key is made up of three parts, three frequency bands … The Shadow, the Gift and the Siddhi. The Siddhi is the highest frequency band, and it relates to “full embodiment and spiritual realisation”. Which is pretty heady (and heavy!) stuff. The word ‘siddhi’ is from the Sanskrit meaning ‘Divine Gift’.

As I entered into contemplation of the Siddhi of my Life’s Work as part of the Sage’s Golden Path journey, the first statement that Richard Rudd makes is this …

The Siddhi represents the Divine essence of your work in the world.

And here is where I have to get my mind out of the arena. Because, of course, with my upbringing and my life experiences, I have some enormous mental blocks around the word “Divine”, mainly because my mind links it to religion, to God, and godhood.

But what if I were to look at a different definition of Divine, and bring that into my contemplations? (Yes, you guessed it … straight to my trusty Roget’s Thesaurus … and oh my goodness, did I discover some juicy definitions to play with!)

Divine as the Infinite and the Eternal.

Divine as presence and wisdom.

Divine as timelessness.

Divine as creation and preservation, compassion and grace.

“Divine” is Present in so Many of My Gifts

If I think of Divine as all of these, or any combination of these, acceptance comes easily.

For who would not wish to embody the infinite?

Who would not wish to walk in presence and in wisdom?

Who would not wish to experience the weightless feeling of timelessness that permeates the being when one drops into deep contemplation?

Who would not want to bring creation of the new, and preservation of all that is good about the old?

Who would not wish to move through life with compassion in their heart?

Who would not wish to experience grace?

Not I, is the answer to all of these questions!

I want to embody all of those aspects of the Divine; it’s why I do this work.

So why should I be afraid to accept the Divine into my life if it is infinite, and compassionate, and timelessness?! I shouldn’t!! I should just drop the definitions of Divine as “god” and step into all those other definitions.

Holding the Siddhi in Mind and Heart as I Contemplate the Shadow

The Gene Keys teachings invite you to hold the Siddhi in your mind and heart as you are contemplating the Shadow of your Life’s Work, as a counterbalance, as a way of not becoming consumed by the heaviness of the Shadow. For these Shadows can be extremely heavy. They can feel dark and oppressive, so it is important to maintain your equilibrium by holding the flame of light that is your Siddhi in your being while you do this Shadow work.

Now, you do not need to have achieved that higher frequency of the Siddhi to do this. You do not need to even understand it. You can simply keep the word in your mind as a beacon of light. For that is the power of these Gene Keys words … they have been chosen very carefully and very deliberately by Richard Rudd as a means of capturing the essence of their deeper meaning.

So … Provocation and Liberation! What does it look like to hold Liberation in my mind while I probe and delve into this Shadow of Provocation?

Oh, well, they are a sweet pairing, are they not?! I am not doing this work to rid of the Shadow of Provocation … I can’t! The Shadows are always there. But I can Liberate myself from the restrictions that the Shadow of Provocation wants to put on me, and then I can find a way to make Provocation my friend, my gateway.

Liberation is the bridge between Provocation and Dynamism. Liberation says, yes, Provocation is there, but I am not shackled to the spot by it. Liberation accepts the Shadow of Provocation but tells me I am not defined by it. Provocation is part of my life, but I am not wedded to it. I am free to step into my Gift of Dynamism.

One of the life-altering realisations that grew on me the longer and deeper I did this Gene Keys work, was that if the Shadows are such a perfect fit for me (which they are!) then it stands to reason that the Gifts and the Siddhis are me too!

This inner work literally liberates me. Looking deeply at this Shadow of Provocation liberates me from its hold on me. It becomes a part of my story, but not the whole tale. It is a quest, but it is not the whole journey.

Locating the Siddhi as an Essence Inside Myself

A really good question to ask yourself, if you want to bring your Life’s Work Siddhi into your awareness while you do this inner work is … Where does the essence of my Siddhi live inside me?

So, that is what I did in my journal. I wrote the question, “Where does the essence of Liberation live inside me?”

And I answered … It is in my throat chakra!

You know, as I wrote that question in my journal, I “thought” I was going to write that it is in my heart.

The words “Throat chakra” fell onto the page without my mind even getting a look in!

Of course Liberation lives in my throat, in my larynx, in my voice!

I speak my Liberation.

I sing my Liberation to myself.

Liberation is a disentangling from my Shadow of Provocation. It’s not annihilating or fixing it; it’s about unravelling the ties that bind me to it.

And I do that with my words; I do that with my voice. An incredible thing has happened to me since I liberated my voice … all of my words are freer … my spoken words, my written words, the words that float around my being as thoughts and feelings and intuition.

Liberation lives in my throat chakra. Bringing my attention there will bring more grace, more compassion for myself.

I am reminded here of the concept of Moksha, a freedom from ignorance, a self-realisation and self-actualisation.

That is what this inner work does for me. It’s not just that it brings me into more understanding of myself; it’s also that it liberates me from the chains that kept me bound to my Shadows and to my ignorance of my own power.

Liberation lives in my voice!

This Siddhi is What I Am Here To Do

I am here to liberate!

Wow! That is an awesome responsibility, especially when I think of the Gene Keys concept of service … that I do this work, not just for myself, but for the collective, I do this work for the whole organism that is Gaia.

I am here to liberate all.

It’s kind of scary, that idea! It’s kind of bloody huge!

So, I begin, not by looking to the top of the mountain, not by looking to the pinnacle of Liberation for all.

No, I look to my own feet, to my own path.

This path of Liberation starts here, in my body, in my throat chakra, in my words and my voice.

I speak myself to Liberation.

And in speaking, I start to send out ripples, waves of Liberation. I must emanate Liberation with my voice and words.

This is what I’m here to do.

Speak my truth.

Tell my story.

Unbind my tongue.

Open my throat.

The Essence of My Biography

I read this glorious statement in writing for the Sage’s Retreat … “It is the essence of your biography”. Holy moly! Now, that is a glorious concept to contemplate!

If you had told me two, three, five, twenty, forty years ago, that I would one day use my voice to tell my stories, I would have laughed (or possibly cried).

As a child, I knew it innately. I talked and shouted and sang out my words. I wanted to be an actress, to be speaking for a living.

But then my Shadows engulfed me and my voice was cut off.

This was a pattern that continued into adulthood. This was a wounding pattern that seemed to define me.

There were even times that I literally lost the ability to speak; spontaneous laryngitis, with no symptoms other than a closing of my throat and the absolute loss of my voice. There was so much I wanted to say, but couldn’t, so I lost the ability to speak completely.

But that was not to be my story.

My story is meant to be heard.

I am meant to be speaking my truths.

I am meant to speak my own biography.

Holding the Siddhi of Liberation for the Rest of the Journey

I’m excited to be back at the beginning of this journey. All the way through the Golden Path last year, the work I was doing was taking me again and again into the realms of this Siddhi of Liberation.

I was freeing my voice to share my words.

I was freeing so many parts of me that I had kept hidden out of fear of not being good enough.

I don’t think that I had these insights into Liberation then. I don’t think I knew it lived in my throat and voice.

So, I wasn’t holding the Siddhi throughout that journey. Did I even bring contemplation of Liberation in? I don’t remember. And that is okay!! One of the most wonderful realisations I’ve had, thanks to the Gene Keys (and my Guide, Hayley Curtis) is that it’s not only normal to forget the things we learn as we make these inner journeys, that it can be a goo thing, because then we get the joy of remembering!!

But this year, as I travel with the Sage, I must not forget. I don’t want to forget! I want to remember that Liberation lives inside me, Liberation is my lighthouse, Liberation is my beacon of light in the darkness of my Shadows.

I want to remember, so that every time I speak my truth, I will hear the tone of Liberation in my voice.

And I will listen out for Liberation in the words I say and the way I say them.

Because it will be there … for it is always there.

The photographs I’ve used in this post are all of the footpath near my home where I go walking every weekend (and every day that I’m not at work!). I walked it every day during the COVID lock downs. It’s a little slice of heaven right on my doorstep. These photographs felt appropriate for an essay where I am looking to my own feet and my own path.