A Travel Essay from the Inner Journey

I already feel as if I am in the embrace of my Attraction Sphere, but before I start to share the treasures it is revealing to me, I want to share one final piece about my Purpose Gene Key here in the Venus Sequence. It’s important, this sphere. It’s the root of not only my Venus stream, but of my entire chart, so it is only right that I share this third part of the trinity … the Siddhi of Wisdom (Gene Key 48).

In The Sage’s Golden Path Retreat, the Siddhi of your Purpose in relationships, which is what this Venus Sequence is all about, is summed up in just one word … “embodiment”.

Guess what I did?! Oh, of course, I opened my Roget’s Thesaurus. If it’s going to be summed up in one single word, I want all the juice I can get out of that one word!

Embodiment … intrinsicality, inherence, inhesion, immanence, essentialness, potentiality, sine qua non, prime ingredient, incarnation, soul, spirit, marrow

My relationships are here to show me how to embody Wisdom, and I love all these words associated with “embodiment”.

Intrinsic. Inherence. Essentialness!

My Wisdom is all of these and more. If I am here to embody my innate and immanent wisdom, then I must gently get my victim on side. I cannot embody Wisdom, if I am caught in a web of victimhood and self-pity.

If the relationships in my life are to help me embody my innate Wisdom, then the mirrors we hold up to each other must be so clean. That means I need to clean my own mirror, which just lately has become clouded by the fear and angst I’ve been feeling around my health.

I know I have this Siddhi of Wisdom inside me. I know that when I get all my clouded emotions and fears and victimhood out of the way, then I can see through to the Wisdom that lies beyond.

There is always the possibility of a wonderful symbiosis in our relationships, if we allow it.

Love leads to acceptance, which leads to more love.

Love and acceptance lead to clarity. When we bring love, acceptance and clarity into our relationships, we are able to trust.

When we trust, we are able to open our hearts.

And when we open our hearts, then we can see our own love, acceptance, trust and wisdom so much more clearly.

So, how do my relationships deliver me the opportunity of a full awakening of my heart, so that I might see the full-blooded version of my Wisdom?

Wisdom is the Primal State of Not Knowing

I have enough experience with this Gene Key to know that the unknown is not to be feared.

I don’t know what life has in store for me.

I don’t know what the future will hold.

But I do trust life. The unknown is no longer the scary place where I feel alone and out of control, waiting for monsters in the dark.

The unknown is the field of pure potentiality. The unknown is the womb space out of which anything may be birthed. Look at how rich my life is now. Look at all the wonders that have been birthed out of me.

True wisdom is not the accumulation of skills or knowledge, but infinite trust in the ever-changing stream of universal energy.

The Sage’s Golden Path Retreat

And here I am again, at this place of infinite trust in the ever-changing stream of universal energy. Of all the incredible statements Richard Rudd has made, this is possibly my favourite!

When I travelled through my whole Golden Path for the second time, this thread of trust was what connected me to all of my Gene Keys, and it was what connected all of them to each other. A Möbius strip of golden thread that never ends, that weaves through and between and around every Gift and Siddhi … trust.

When You Don’t KNOW, then You TRUST

I am tapping into this trust right now, in my everyday life. Isn’t it amazing how life brings me lessons, out there in my external world, that allow me to see the truth of what I am uncovering in here, in my internal world!

Life is inviting me to trust that it is absolutely right that I didn’t get that job I went for. Life is preparing me to let go of the identity I attached to being the Gold Star Girl, the one who always gets promoted, the one who always gets the recognition for doing a good job.

Life is inviting me to trust that there is something else I’m meant to be doing, a deeper lesson I am meant to be learning, a pattern I am meant to be releasing.

I love how the message of the Crow in our delicious Wild Dare Field Guide project is inviting me to let her compost that old self, so that a new, better, more authentic self can be born. Anaerobic digestion! That’s what’s happening to my old self, dear Gold Star Girl who used to keep me safe. She is being broken down and digested in the womb space that exists beneath Crow’s dark wing. My old self, that Gold Star Girl who was always striving, she can let go now, she can be absorbed into this authentic self I am growing and becoming. She can go back to being a carefree child, instead of thinking she has to take care of me and protect me.

Infinite trust is beckoning me into the stream of universal energy. I can let go of all that need I used to have to be recognised and validated. I do not need external validation. I do not need to accumulate skills or knowledge of accolades (or promotions!). I am perfect just the way I am.

This is who I am meant to be. This quiet soul. This woman who has walked far, but who can rest now in the stillness of who she was meant to be. There is no need to go seeking. There is no need to rush around. The truth is right here, beneath my feet.

Who needs gold stars when I am myself a diamond?! I am my own treasure. And Gold Star Girl? She is the whole gold star herself! (Thank you to my dear friend, Meghan, for that image!).

Wisdom is Unshakeable Fearlessness

Wisdom is the unshakeable fearlessness rooted in an integral connection with all of life.

The Sage’s Golden Path Retreat

Oh, I love the idea of unshakeable fearlessness! I have so much warrior energy in my chart. I can be fearless. I can be brave. And I am not alone. I am gathering a band of allies … birds, toads, fish, animals, trees. All of nature is my ally in this fearless quest for the truth; the truth of who I am. The truth of who I am meant to be. The truth that I am exactly who, where and when I am meant to be.

Walking in the sunrise, my new summer practice, connects me to nature. It connects me to the sun and to the earth. I am part of nature.

That is the message that comes through so many of my Gene Keys … be your natural self. Be you.

So that is what I am doing, as I slip into my unshakeable fearlessness … I am being me, my natural, authentic, brave, warrior self.

Wisdom Reveals that all the Answers are Already Inside

Every time I contemplate this Siddhi of Wisdom, I sink deeper into the statement … Wisdom reveals that all the answers are already inside.

I see more and more nuance within the words. At first, I was seeing what you might call “practical” answers. I was seeing my Resourceful Wisdom. I was seeing how, no matter what problem, blockage, difficulty that life threw my way, I would always find a way through. I would find practical solutions to problems.

But over the three-plus years of working with this glorious Gene Key 48, and this Siddhi that holds all Siddhis, I see so many more layers to those “answers” I am finding inside me.

I see the emotional answers, the ones that find their way through my fears and my self-doubts.

I see mental answers that can untangle my mind from other people’s dramas.

I can see physical answers in the way I must care for my body.

But the answers that have the greatest impact on every aspect of my life are the soul answers, the spiritual answers. The BEING answers that wrap everything in their gossamer threads.

What this Siddhi is bringing me is the Wisdom to simply be.

What this Siddhi is bringing me is the Wisdom of the womb that creates life. Like an Escheresque Matryoshka doll, I am inside the womb, and the womb is inside me.

Gene Key 48 is the well, but it is also the womb space out of which all my answers, all my creativity, all my light, and all the many facets that make up my diamond self come. This is the best Gene Key to have here in the Purpose Sphere (I’m sure everyone feels the same about whatever their Purpose Gene Key is!).

This is my roots down into the centre of the earth, this is my crucible, this is where I give birth to myself.

I Must Enter the Void Naked

I can’t go into the void of Wisdom with my notebook and pen, looking for solutions. That’s not the way these answers work. Here is the ultimate trust fall, and all I have to do is surrender to it. I will find all my answers, not because they’re all bottled and neatly labelled on shelves for me to choose from … Drink this to Take Away the Pain of Rejection; Drink this to Find Out How to Leave that Toxic Relationship; Drink this to get Enough Money to Solve all your Problems.

No, I will find all my answers because I will find my true self, my higher self, in that beautiful black void that is simultaneously filled with white light and diamonds. I will find my answers because I will find the spiritual armour I need to don to fight my way to the right place. I will find the softest lamb’s fleece to wrap my infant self in and I will teach her she is loved and she can do anything. I’ll find all my younger selves and I will wrap them in so much love.

Then I will emerge, and it won’t just be the armour or swaddling that will protect me. It will be the love for myself I found in that dark place inside myself.

That is the answer.

That is the only answer I will ever need … to love myself. To give myself all the love I deserve.

Then life will flow in its right direction.

The physical, mental and emotional answers and solutions and maps will be clearly laid out before me, and I shall always know the right next step.

This is the Wisdom of the 48. This is the deep feminine wisdom of the womb. This is why I do this work! I can dive into this innate Wisdom whenever I need to. It is always here, right inside me, waiting to birth my next iteration, my next solution, my next creation. My next best day!

While I was choosing the photographs to go along with this essay, I was listening to the Gene Keys audio for GK53, the current Pulse. I’ve also been sitting with the energy of stillness, of slowing down. So, it felt like I needed to choose “slow” images … what better than long-exposure shots? All of these were taken in Devon, all feature the sea. Was I influenced by the fact that I was listening to Richard Rudd’s mellifluous voice? Maybe. Richard lives a stone’s throw from a few of these beaches and harbours.

You can see more of my photography on my Flickr page.