Hello my friends. For this week’s Wizardly Words on Wednesdays, I am choosing a word which has featured large in my journaling, my contemplations, and my conversations since I started working with the Gene Keys.

You see, I have a couple of themes running through my whole chart. The first is “love”. Now, I may write about love one of these days, but it is such a huge subject, and it is so central to this Gene Keys work, that I feel it probably needs a whole book written about it, rather than an article!

So, I have decided for this week’s Wizardly Words to focus on the other theme which runs through my contemplations like a thread of gold through this enormous tapestry of life I am weaving … the theme of TRUST.

To give you an idea of how often “trust” comes up for me, I did a word search on the journal entries I have typed up since I started this work with Hayley about two and a half years ago (and this is not all of them! I’m currently about a journal behind in my typing up for my current Devoted journey!). I have spoken about trust over NINE HUNDRED times!

So, I thought for this article, I would pull out some of the statements that really stood out for me, as I was reading through my Devoted journals in search of trust. To write about all of the insights and breakthroughs I’ve had around trust for the whole of my Gene Keys journey would be volume two of the Book of Love!! (Devoted is a year-long journey I am taking through my Golden Path with Hayley Curtis as my Guide, and twelve other incredible women as my travelling companions!) Before I even began the Devoted journey, I decided that I wanted a Dream Arc animal to accompany me. My heart called me to choose Hare, which has always felt like a kin animal to me (even though I don’t yet understand the Dream Arc concept of kin animals! You can find out more about the Dream Arc here).

When I read that, I wrote this in my journal … And there it is! The reason why Hare leapt into my consciousness as a companion for the next year of devotion to my inner work … TRUST!

Hasn’t trust been at the root of all of my Gene keys and all of my work?

Haven’t I time and time again come to a place where trust is the only answer.

I am taking a leap of trust by committing to DEVOTED for a year. I am taking the leap into trusting that this is the right thing for me to do, to invest my time and money in a programme that will transform my life.

I’ve done so much work, but I know there is more to do, and I trust Hayley to be the guide who takes me there.

That set the scene for the work to come … I was taking a leap of trust!

Ideas to Journal With

I would really love it if you would read these statements from my journal, and if any of them resonate with you, please do let me know in the comments. (The statements in the images are lifted straight from my journal, and the images are all of my beautiful Wiltshire home, with it’s undulating landscape and big skies!)

And I invite you to take the statements that do tug at your heart, write them in your own journal, and then see where your contemplation and your pen want to take you.

Devotion Starts With Trust

I started my Devoted journey like this …

Right at the beginning of Devoted, my dear friend and fellow Crone, Meghan, reminded me that easy is good!! Devoted is not a boot camp, where I get beat myself up for not being with the program!! This gets to be easy. And how do I bring in ease? By going with the flow; by not resisting; and by trusting the process. I understood that ease requires trust.

Ah, this motif of the “trust fall” came up again and again for me. My Purpose Gene Key is 48, the Well, the Void, the unknown that invites me to trust fall into it.

And Trust Requires Self-Love

I didn’t know what this Devoted year was going to look like, but I knew it was what I was meant to be doing.

Really early in our work together, on one of our first ever calls, Hayley told me that I am “fucking magnificent”! Can you believe that?! I couldn’t!

Do you know what that feels like? To have a woman whom you admire and respect so much say something like that to you?!

It takes your damn breath away.

And it plants a seed … maybe I AM fucking magnificent! Maybe, despite a lifetime of negative self-talk, decades of self-loathing, maybe I was wrong? All those years of believing I was not enough … maybe I was wrong?!

Maybe if I just trust this work (and I do), maybe if I trust Hayley (and I do!), and maybe if I trust myself (it’s coming!!), then my breath WILL be taken away, as I see my true essence … a woman with so much love to give, a woman with gifts that will make the world a better place, just by being in it.

May you loosen your grip on life and all within it, slowly surrendering more and more into the currents of your destiny. 
Hayley Curtis, A Declaration to the Devoted Woman

This is so perfect. This is the trust fall that my Gene Keys have invited me into again and again, since I started journeying with them. I’ve had a lifetime of holding tight, of feeling as if I HAVE to grip on tight to life or I might be flung into the abyss.

But when I loosen that grip, and I do surrender to life, the most remarkable thing happens … I discover first that the abyss is nothing to be feared; it is the womb-space out of which all life flows.

Then I discover that I am completely safe here. I am right here, right now, on this path, because this is where I’m meant to be. I trust that feeling.

Unblocking Victim Mentality

I am blocked when I play the part of the frightened, inadequate victim. I am blocked when I am caught in self-judgement and self-loathing. I am blocked when I shut myself down to protect myself.

And what opens those blockages?

TRUST.

Trust in the Gene Keys, trust in the process, trust in myself. Trust in my Gifts.

That “creative surge”, fuelled by trust, is what allows me to expand this work. If I trust that I am in the right place at the right time with my inner work … why can I not expand that trust to include my outer world?!! And if that trust-fuelled creative surge is allowed to wash out into my external world, then I am able to move boldly in my daily life, I am able to be my natural self.

Trust means removing the walls that compartmentalise my life (which are just blockages by another name!) … Inner Working Lizzie; Work-Life Lizzie; Social Media-Facing Lizzie; Simply Home-Body, Husband-Loving Lizzie; Creative Bookbinding Lizzie … trust enables me to meld all of these parts of ME into Line 1 Bold Natural Lizzie, who is made up of all these parts, who owns all of these parts of herself, and who is proud of who she is; who believes in herself; and who trusts the path that opens up before her with every bold step forward.

Stepping boldly into the world, I am fearless, not because I am reckless, but rather because I wear the light armour of a warrior, and I carry my own sword of truth. I know that I can trust life and myself.

Fear of Lack

There is a seam of lack that runs through my Evolution Shadow of Struggle like jet black coal, sucking all of my lightness out of me.

I KNOW this on a deep, deep level. Life has brought me here for a reason. I am meant to do this work. I am meant to hurl myself off the cliff into the unknown and trust that I will sprout wings and fly.

Only by trusting myself at every step, knowing that the next step truly WILL be sourced from within me, will I evolve into the woman I am meant to be. I can stand, self-assured, shoulders back, sword gleaming with its own inner light, trusting in my own power.

Author of My Own Life

When I stand in my gift of Authority, I am standing on the solid ground of absolute trust. I am standing firm in my trust of myself, of life, and consequently of the people I interact with. When I can be in this place of absolute trust that life brings me what and who I need, then I am so much more open to the connections that come my way.

There is so much openness in my Radiance Gift of Authority, I have so much trust in myself, that I am no longer afraid to open up to other people.

I am no longer afraid to trust other people, and so the magic can come.

Look at the connections that have opened up for me here in Gene Keys Unleashed and in Devoted.

And look at the absolute magic I have found in my friendship with Meghan.

All these connections are coming because I am trusting life. I am trusting myself. I am opening up. I am writing my own story.

And I am trusting the way this work and this story are unfolding for me.

When I step out of that tightly woven net of fear that is the Shadows of my Activation Sequence, I get to see a whole different picture. Instead of only seeing the version of the story of my life that is one of perpetual struggle; a story of ricocheting from one crisis to the next; of surviving one traumatic event after another; I see a picture painted by my Gifts.

I see a story of a valiant woman who overcame all the obstacles strewn in her path to be able to write a new story for herself.

A story where our heroine is dynamic, full of joy and love and optimism. A story where she not only perseveres through challenge after challenge, but one in which she does so with honour.

The heroine of this story is not afraid, not because all the evils have been vanquished, but because she now trusts that no matter what happens in her external world, she is carrying safety and trust in her heart. She is alight with her Gifts.

She is the Warrior of Light, who cannot be defeated as long as she keeps her heart open, as long as she loves herself, and allows all that love and light to wash over every person and every situation she encounters.

And what does all this courage and trust, all this love and light do?

It liberates her! She need no longer feel trapped, even when she finds obstacles in her path, because her freedom is in her own heart.

No Such Thing as Making a Mistake

Oh! The relief in realising that!! There is no pressure when we are simply being ourselves. We can let go of all the expectations around external results. We can let go of the fear that we will fail, that we will somehow NOT GET LIFE RIGHT.

Even through all the years of journaling and inner work, as I moved deeper into understanding myself, the black hole was still there. I feel as if I spent years skirting around it. I would name my fears, write about them, but I don’t think I truly let them in so that I could feel them and heal them, and move through them.

I teetered on the edge of the black hole, afraid to dive in, in case it consumed me with its sadness and pain. But most afraid that I would discover that I WAS nothing after all.

This Gene Keys work has changed that.

This work has taken away the fear of the void, and replaced it with trust.

I trust that I am safe to dive into the depths of myself.

I trust that there is no “emptiness” inside me, but rather that there is this infinite well of love and wisdom and beauty.

Trusting My Vessel

The Siddhi of Wisdom ushers in or is borne from (or maybe both!), a complete trust in our physical bodies. We hold all the wisdom we need in our physical bodies. And that trust and wisdom is what will ultimately heal us.

I will be standing taller; I will be breathing easier.  I will be calm, serene, at ease. I will be in a state of trust, so that even if physical pain occurs, or even if emotional pain comes up, I will stay connected to my body, trusting that all pain is a natural part of being alive in this human vessel. I won’t be afraid of the pain, or the trauma, or the wounding. And if I am not afraid then it has no power over me, no power to make me a victim. No power to make me shut down out of fear of more pain.

Trust opens me.

Trust allows me to have so much space inside me that I CAN feel all the feelings, without fear of being consumed or annihilated by them; trust allows me to hold all the feelings in the most gentle embrace and to give myself the love I need to heal.

And if I can do that for myself, then people will feel it in my presence. They will feel the calm reassurance that I will emanate, and it will calm them. They will hear it in my words, they will read it in my stories, They will witness it in the way I move in the world.

My trust in life will be infectious, spreading to all the people I connect with, from the deep, intimate connection with my husband, through my deep friendships with my soul sisters Meghan and Hayley, through my openness with my fractal; then out into the world in waves of pure love energy.

This is my purpose; this is why I’m here. To feel everything in my body, to heal myself. And then to take the healing out into the world. This is why I am here. To show people that they can trust themselves; that no matter how hard their external circumstances are, they have this infinite well of Wisdom inside them, that holds all that they need, all of the healing that their bodies, minds and souls need.

They simply have to trust.

To step into the void and trust that they will be held there and loved there and safe there.

To trust their bodies and their hearts and themselves.

Life is NOT About Facts, It is About Trusting the Unknown

Wisdom has nothing whatsoever to do with facts and knowledge and information. Wisdom is EVERYTHING to do with the UNKNOWN.

I believe that my Attractor field draws circumstances and relationships into my life that make me face the naked vulnerability of letting go of my Intellect, and trusting that when I dive into the void of the unknown, that I am going to find everything I need there … all the love, all the answers, all the treasure, all the Gifts. There is no need for facts in the void. If I can let go of that need to know everything, then from the void of the unknown will bubble up the PRECISE thing that I need in every moment, whether that be an answer to an inquiry, an insight, a breakthrough, a piece of art, a poem, a book, or simply the gentle space of a pause to catch my breath. And to know that I am safe not to know!!

My IQ Gift of Discrimination asks me to trust … it asks me to throw open my heart and mind and let EVERYONE and EVERYTHING in, because it knows that I have the discernment and discrimination to tell the difference between things and people that are healthy for me, and those that will hurt me.

I could have stayed closed, and SAFE. But I didn’t. I trusted life, I trusted myself, I trusted this work.

And the shift that I am being invited into all the time is trust.

This Gift tells me that I CAN and SHOULD trust. That I am safe to open my heart. That if I do, then life WILL bring me what I need when I need it. Life will bring me the right relationships and the right circumstances, and I will always know inherently what and who is healthy for my life. And oh my god!! The energy that frees up is incredible. Because it takes so much fucking energy to maintain all of those walls. Now I have all that energy free to channel into creativity, to channel into my own growth. Fucking phenomenal!!!

The Antidote is to Always Trust and then to Trust MORE

We learn to respect ourselves by first trusting that our heart knows the next right step. When we trust our own inner wisdom, when we let our heart lead, when we trust that we are always safe, THEN and only then, can we truly love and respect ourselves. It’s a bit of a chicken and egg question! Because of course we need to have that seed of respect for ourselves, in order to open our hearts to the trust.

It is a dance, and if we allow the heart to lead, then the motion is fluid … trust for our own wisdom flows seamlessly into respect for ourselves; respect opens the pathway for more trust and love to flow in.

I am learning that I can trust my Dharma, that I can trust that everything was exactly the way it needed to be … my history, my heritage, the road that led me here.

We free up all this space, where the defensiveness was, and in its place we can grow love. I think that the whole point here is to NOT think, but rather to allow.

We allow the flow of life to take us where we need to go, without fighting our Dharma.

Trust is a thread that runs through all of my Gene Keys. And to know that the Siddhi of Truth (Programming Partner to my EQ) says TRUST EVERYTHING, that was such a relief, such a sigh went through me.

We are all aspects of a single truth.

We ARE all the light.

Everything is this great, confusing mass, and it’s all inside me!

How Do I Measure Prosperity?

I trust the Gene Keys to show me the way into myself to do this inner work. I trust my Guide, Hayley, and my fellow travellers.

Most of all, I trust myself. I trust the Void that lives inside me, that field of pure potentiality that holds all that I need, all that I could ever wish for or dream of.

I trust the unknown, for I know that it is filled with treasure … So, you see, I carry all of this infinite treasure inside me … and that is the measure of my prosperity.

And oh, the ease and freedom of knowing that life brought me what I needed, in order for me to become the woman I was always destined to be.

THIS woman …

… this ordinary woman with an extraordinary capacity for love and trust

… this ordinary woman, whose heart is so vast that it holds the whole universe

… this ordinary woman who carries her home and her safety inside her

… this ordinary woman with the capacity to forgive herself and others for all the pain and suffering, for the fire of suffering is what has tempered and honed the blade of my Gifts.

It takes my breath away to realise that I have transmuted fear into safety, suffering into trust, Shadows into Gifts.

This journey I am on has been inviting me over and over again to TRUST. This has been a journey all about love, but for me, love has to go hand in hand with trust. They are, as I have said before, two sides of one Mobius strip, each leading into and out of the other.

Love is trusting life. Trust is loving life.

I choose to love life. I choose to trust life.